Sometimes a tie is a win and a loss is a learning experience

Yesterday my son's soccer match had elements of a tie, a win, a loss and a lot of learning - especially by some of the parents who were spectators. Last spring in our community two very competitive soccer teams merged when one team's league folded. The coach of that team was picked up by the club my son had played for during the past several years. The "new" coach was put in charge of selecting what would become the "A" team for the club in my son's age division (14 to 15 year old boys). Since the boys from the folded club were much more well known to the new coach, many former "A" team members (my son included) were not selected for the new merged team, but were bumped to the "B" team. Also, several good players left the club for a different rival simply because of dissatisfaction with the merger.

It turns out that both the "A" and "B" team were considered to be on a par with each other as far as the State standings were concerned, and were placed in the same state league bracket. Yesterday was their first league game against each other.

In many ways the two teams are collegial - they are both in the same Club organization, they both include players from the former merged teams as well as other new-comers, and the parents of the players on both teams know each other and we do our best to be cordial even though there may be lingering resentments about who made the "A" squad versus the "B" squad.

The opinion of most of the "A" team parents is that their sons were going to "blow out" the "B" team and prove to the State league that they should have been placed in a higher competitive bracket in the league. The opinion of most of the "B" team parents is that their sons were equal to the "A" team in skill, although admittedly somewhat slower and smaller in overall player size and athleticism. The players themselves seemed to just want to play as hard and as well as possible - as they do for all games. They don't seem to be as "political" as the parents.

So, how did things turn out? The score was tied at zero to zero at half time. The teams had played quite evenly and no team dominated that first half. The "B" team parents felt that this was a definite win. The "A" team parents were stunned to learn that there was much less difference between these teams than expected. The players for both teams were frustrated, as ties are never viewed as wins from a player perspective.

In the second half (these are 40 minute non-stop halves at this age level), the edge went to the "A" team with their slightly better athleticism and with several minutes to go they finally put a ball into the goal after giving the "B" team goal keeper a major challenge. While the "B" team bounced back with an enthusiastic attempt to score in the remaining minutes, it was a hot (95 degree), sunny day and they were clearly tiring more than the "A" team. The final score - 1 to Zero for the "A" team.

Interestingly the "A" team players did not celebrate this win - they had let down their parents who expected a huge scoring difference. The "B" team players also did not celebrate, but they knew they had played hard and that they needed to improve their strength, speed and endurance. However, I think the parents learned the most from that game. And perhaps there will be less of those lingering doubts and resentments now that the parents of both teams have seen the terrific potential of all the players and the near-equals that these two teams are.